Your grace
by Fightslowly
Summary: With Alice distracted, Maria claims Jasper back with every intention of breaking him. Will they Coven be able to save him, or will he go back to coping mechanisms he had before. Dark. Suicidal themes. Violence. Angst. Jasper/Alice/Maria
1. Please

**((Curious to see if anyone would want to read something like this. I find Maria to be interesting, and I'm hoping I'll get some response to this. Planning to update my other story very soon. I love you all so much.))**

Sometimes we'd close our eyes and pretend we were sleeping. Silence, for hours and hours. But I could feel the happiness come off of her. She was content just to lay by my side, holding my hand. So I was happy too. I sat up, and ran my scarred hand down the length of her porcelain face. She opened her eyes and pulled me into a kiss. I felt so much love, it could have made my dead heart beat. Smiling, I cradled her to my chest, and kissed her ear softly. Her eyes became unfocused, and she furrowed her eyebrows. For the past two weeks her visions had been focused on what she would wear to the prom. Well not her. All the girls in the household. It had gotten to the point where we almost stepped out into the sun, because she didn't tell us it'd be sunny. I smiled and kissed her hair. Her simple joy in shopping made me smile.

"Ooo. Jasper. I'm going to wear blue and" her speech was halted and she ran from my arms and tossed on a coat.  
"I love you. I gotta go. Go hunting, I know you've wanted to go alone for a while." She said with a smirk.

I smiled, thankful that she had given me something to do while she was gone. Without her, I was nothing. And hunting alone was always a plus. Though it was for my own good, the kindergarten buddy system got old quickly. She quickly pressed her lips to mine, and I felt her surge of excitement as she ran from the room and grabbed Rosalie by the arm. I changed into a flannel top, and jeans not wanting to face her wrath if I got blood on my good clothes. I went to the mirror to see the golden eyes stare back at me through my messy blond hair. But that wasn't the only thing. My scars screamed back to me, everyone telling it's story. I buttoned the top as high as it would go, and pulled down the sleeves. Though humans could not see them, it truly bothered me. I turned quickly as I heard Edward approach, a habit of defense I would never lose. It had faded a lot from the beginning, as I recalled hitting the wall, and hissing when Esme offered me a pile of clean clothes. Yes, I had dropped my defenses dramatically since then. Edward leaned against the door frame, emitting worry, and a prick of sadness with his approach.

"Do you want me to come with you, hunting?" he asked softly, studying me.  
I frowned, instantly feeling shame. He still didn't even trust me to hunt alone. But he had good reason. Edwards eyes grew, and regret flooded him.  
"That's not what I meant. It just seems like.. It seems like you're doing a lot of visiting the past, and I..I wanted to cheer you up." He said, ashamed.  
"I'll be fine Edward." I said coldly, and regretted it instantly. "I just. I think I need time alone."  
He nodded, but still gave off the feeling of unease. I smiled at him. We had always connected better than anyone in the house. I would sit next to him for hours while he played his piano, silently feeling what he felt, and said nothing. He looked out for me the same.  
_'Sometimes I just feel like. My past will catch up with me' _I thought. He nodded.  
"We'll talk tonight. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella will be gone until 3 am anyway." He frowned. "She's been thinking nonstop fashion for 2 weeks now." I laughed and he smiled. I bid him farewell, and escaped through the window. I ran into the forest, not stopped until I was in deep. I smiled and launched at a deer, taking it quickly and gracefully. I was so grateful to be alone. So happy to be in control.  
Then I heard something. I whipped around, and stared into the forest. Nothing. I cocked my head to the side, and smelled the air. The stench revealed newborns. At least fifty. I crouched, but it was too late. Two arms held me down, as I struggled. This newborn must have been extremely new, because I couldn't even move. My face was pressed roughly into the ground.

"Lift him up. I want him to see my face." A voice growled. I froze.  
No god. Please. No. Anyone but her. Please just let them kill me.  
I was lifted to see Maria staring at me, her emotions emitting her happiness to get me, her anger with me, and her desire.  
"Hello Jasper." She said, smiling. I struggled, growling, panicing. My thoughts went to Alice. To my coven..my family. I looked up at her with fear.  
" Your eyes." She mumbled in confusion. She walked up to me, and put her hand on my face tilting my head up.  
"So you pretend to be them. You deny your nature. You were great." She released me, disgusted. I struggled, and opened my mouth to yell, but stopped. She smiled.  
"If you scream, I'll kill your whole coven. And." She paused, and gave me a disgusting smile.  
"I'll make sure your girl gets broken before personally killing her."  
"Not Alice." I moaned, letting my head fall. I was idiot. I knew this day would come. I would never put her in danger.  
"Please." I moaned, weakly.  
She knelt to me, lifting my head, grazing her lips on my cheeks, to my ear.  
"I will make you great again." She whispered. And then we were running.


	2. Crack

**((As long as I get a response, I will continue. This story is flowing from me at a fast pace. I love you all.))**

Alice POV

My visions told me where to go, and exactly what dress Bella, Rosalie, and I were wearing. But for whatever reason, Bella didn't accept my vision.  
"You look like you're from Beauty and the beast. Pleasee Bella." I moaned. She turned to me, fuming, putting her hands on her hips. She wore a massive puffy yellow dress.  
"So are YOU going to explain to Edward, I'm the beauty and he's THE BEAST?" she yelled, and slammed her door back into the dressing room. I bit my lip. Damn Edward's lack of confidence. That could have been cute. I turned to Rosalie who smiled at the skin tyte red strapless dress. She could pull off sexy. I on the other hand, looked like an over excited child. But Jasper loved me. My Jasper. My mind drifted to him, wondering where he was. Then I got a vision, and couldn't help the scream that erupted from my chest.

Jasper POV

They carried me a long while, and we made incredible time because of how quick the newborns were. But I couldn't think about that. I thought only of Alice. I led them to her. Who says they weren't going to go back and finish her. I screamed in fury projecting my violent rage, and self I loathing. The newborns flinched, and uneasiness spread quickly. The vampire carrying me held me tighter. He was probably calculating what would happen if we got into a fight. But didn't care anymore. I wanted death. I couldn't stand living with Maria again. The things she did to me… The things she made me do. Their feet stopped, I didn't know where we were. They carried me into a cement building, looking completely out of place on the smooth grassy plains.  
"Bring him to my bedroom." She hissed, and I shuddered. They carried me into a large room. Though elegant, as emphasized by the chandelier, it held a child like quality to it. Dolls covered some of the wall, and dresses another. Everything looked old, like from a different time. Maria was turned young. She held the lust of many other vampires, and either that or pity helped make people dedicated to her. They threw me down on her pink lacy bed. He then left the room.  
Normally this would be the part someone tries a daring escape. I calculated my chances. They weren't good. But I didn't want to risk them. Risk her.I began to shake, and raised my trembling hands to my face. Memories flashed before me.

Waking up completely alone after being turned. My first kill, the torment it brought. Leading a newborn army in a battle with cold eyes. Maria punishing me after getting defeated. The years of hopelessness and self loathing. And then Alice. Maybe I had died and gone to hell. I rather have the fire of being turned than dealing with Maria. I was so broken when I met Alice. I took her hand with no expectations. The love I felt from her seemed too surreal. She seemed to be an angel. And through the years I had tried to act strong for her. To be her rock, after she had been mine. But instead, I had almost led her in harm's way.  
The door slammed open, and in walked the small Maria. Her eyes were crimson, and her dark hair fell around her shoulders like a child's waiting for her mother to brush it. She gave me a small grin.  
"You haven't even tried to run." She commented, her voice betraying the youth of her face. It was loud, commanding. I looked away from her, trying to calm my trembling.  
"I can't risk her. Or them." I said softly. She walked in front of me, and paused. She then let out a fierce growl, that shook my unbreakable bones.  
"LOOK AT ME." She commanded. I lifted my head, feeling her rage hit me like a ton of bricks. Her eyes softening momentarily, before going hard again.  
"I'm going to punish you for what you've done." she whispered, her hand running down my jawline. I pulled away and she clenched her hand into a fist.  
"I can see you're in there Major." She growled. I shivered. "And this lie you have made yourself," she stared deeply into my eyes.  
"Will be gone soon. You will be mine again."  
"Please." I blurted out. I felt her confusion.  
"What?"  
"If I let you have me, will you leave her alone?" I pleaded. Her confusion only deepened.  
"You know what I'm going to do to you." She stated slowly. "And you still are thinking only of her?" she spat.  
"Your newborns are strong, but I can influence them. If I put up a fight, you will lose at least half of your men, whether I live or die." I whispered.  
She raised her eyebrows.  
"Fine. I'll leave them alone. We're headed South anyway. But f you even try to leave, I will have my army kill the family, and bring the girl here for my personal torture." She pushed me back on the bed, and crawled on top of me. I froze in fear. Her hands ripped at my shirt, and the weak material was shredded instantly. She fingered my scars, and laughed.  
"You can fool the humans with your eyes, but you will never fool us. You're body is a constant reminder of everything you killed, and the real person you are."  
She snapped her fingers, and two large vampires came into the room, and held down my arms. I drew an unnecessary gasp and she smiled. She leaned to my ear,  
"I will make you great again. It's just the matter of breaking the bone, and resetting it." She whispered. She then made her way to my collar bone, and kissed it. I snapped my eyes closed. I felt her teeth rip into my flesh, and I tried not to scream. I had to be strong, for Alice. But as more and more venom pumped into me, I felt my resolve dissipate. She bit me again and again, all over until I finally let out a hoarse scream of pure pain. She paused, and ran her small fingers over my lips. I was shaking violently.  
"Ah." She said. "A crack in the vase." She put her face close to mine, and kissed my lips. I jerked my head away, disgusted. I felt her anger flare, and didn't expect the sting of venom as she continued to bite me over and over again.


	3. Pain

**((I love you all.))**

Alice POV

I had never heard my husband scream before. He had never even raised his voice at me. The only time I heard him yell, was when he yelled my name in fear. Fear he'd lose me. He tried always to be so strong, whether things bothered him or not. So to see this vision of Jasper being held on a bed, screaming in pain was a shock. I couldn't focus. It replayed over and over again in my head. When I finally went back to reality, Carlisle was shaking my shoulders, with panic in his eyes.

"Alice. Please. What did you see?"

I turned to Edward, and saw the pain he held in his eyes, the fear. He was shaking. Bella was trying to comfort him, but he held my gaze.

"She has Jasper. Maria has Jasper." I screamed, clawing my fingers through my hair. Everyone tensed. They didn't know much about Maria. Jasper never spoke of his past life. But over time they have collected tiny pieces they could put together. Only Edward really knew what it meant.

"She's torturing him. He was screaming in pain." I whispered.  
"How did this happen?" Carlisle asked, trying to mask the panic in his voice. He failed.  
"I sent him to go hunting alone. I didn't look ahead. I was thinking of fucking dresses. DRESSES. And now my husband is gone" I screamed.

Edward flinched, and made his way to me, pushing Carlisle gently to the side.

"I asked him if he wanted company. He seemed… distracted today." He said softly, holding back information.  
"I went outside to wait for him but when I caught the scent of the newborns it was too late" Guilt was driving his voice. My body shook in dry sobs.

Then I saw another vision. Jasper was in front of a mirror. His body covered in fresh wounds, his eyes darkened and he said only one word.  
"Monster."

I screamed out in panic. Edward growled deeply, and threw a chair across the room. Everyone tensed, as Edward spoke of what I had seen.

"Alice. Where did they take him?" Carlisle asked.  
"I can't tell. They ran far. He's in a big room. I can't see anything." I choked out.  
"Then we'll start tracking. Bella, you stay here with Esme and Rosalie. We're leaving this house in thirty seconds. "

We ran for hours. But we couldn't get a scent. We couldn't find him.

Jasper POV

The pain was intense. I had not felt pain in over 50 years, and this hit me hard. It took me an hour to be able to move again, and without feeding the pain would not subside less than this. I sat up on the pink lacy bed, breathing hard. I was alone again. Listening for sounds, I heard the gentle conversations of newborns. I wasn't alone. I was just caged. I closed my eyes and ran a hand down my chest, evaluating the damage. Almost all the wounds were still open. The most painful was the first inflicted wound, on my collar bone. But my body was covered in bites. My arms, back, torso, stomach, and hips. I opened my eyes, and made my way to a long mirror that hung on her childish walls. I looked like a monster. Almost every inch was covered. I felt disgust fill me, but it was my own disgust. Alice wouldn't want me now. Alice didn't deserve a used piece of garbage.

"Monster." I spoke at the reflection. I heard footsteps coming, and immediately crouched. All human formalities within me were gone. Maria opened the door, and her eyes scanned the room until she found me. She was pleased with my position.

"Ah. There you are, Major." Her voice rang, and pride surged from her. I growled. Her pride went immediately to anger.

"That is no way to treat a lady Major." She hissed, and her eyes traveled down my ruined body.

"What do you want with me Maria?" I asked.

My voice wasn't soft anymore. It wasn't the voice I talked to Alice with. It was rough, and defensive. She walked towards me, and I stood upright. She stopped in front of me and I lowered my eyes

"With you I want nothing. I just want you." She said softly, and I was hit with feelings of loneliness, and desire. Repulsed, I looked up to her, barring my teeth.  
"You have me." I growled out angrily, and she laughed. My hands made fists, but she looked at them as no threat. She knew how weak I was at the moment.  
"I have your body. I want you. Not this gold eyed fairy boy. I want my Major back."

She then turned around, and went to the door.  
"This is why I have brought you a gift." She said, her voice mocking a joyful tone. The door slammed open, and they threw a tied young human girl onto the bed. My eyes grew in panic, and I moved my back to the farthest wall from her. Maria just laughed, a horrible disgusting laugh.

"She's all yours. I picked her myself. She's a southern girl." Pride flowed with her words.

"You can decide. Sit here in pain until your starvation makes you kill her, or kill her now and take your side next to me." She explained lazily. I shut my eyes. I heard her footsteps approach, and her small hands rested on my shoulders. She slammed me back against the wall roughly, and I opened my eyes to see her teeth bared.

"You will drink human blood tonight. And if you change her, it'll just be another newborn you'll have to worry about killing when she gets too old. " Her lips grazed my cheeks gently, and she fingered my jaw line for a moment before pushing me back against the wall. She left the room, and locked the door.

I walked to the human, who was luckily unconscious. I frowned, and untied her quickly, her scent calling to me. My bites burned with every slight movement, reminding me of what her blood could do for me. I then returned to the far corner of the room, and sat down.

I went over my options  
I was too weak to fight them off, and too weak to receive more punishments. Maria wouldn't kill me, at least not now, so trying wouldn't work. Turning the girl into a vampire would only increase her life by a year or two, depending on when her strength went away.

I tried to keep my mind thinking like that. I tried to keep thinking words, but I couldn't. I didn't want to live this way. Not without Alice. Without her I was nothing. But another voice was yelling at me. And it wasn't in my head. Shit.

"Please. Just tell me where we are." She begged me, and I frowned. She looked to only be in her early teens, and her southern drawl masked her words.  
"I'm sorry. I don't know where we are" I whispered, voice hoarse. She was crying, hard. She walked over to me, and I stiffened.  
"I don't know what I did to deserve this. God. Please. Let me go." She yelled, in hysterics.  
"Relax. Please." I asked, as I felt her fear, anguish, regret and confusion hit me. I sent her calm.

She quieted down and sat down next to me, trying to scoot close, but I moved farther and turned my head away. She looked me up and down, and my lack of a shirt exposed all. She must have seen the open wounds, because she gasped. I was thankful she couldn't see the scars, or I would have frightened her even more.

"Are they going to torture me too?"she wailed, and buried her head in her hands.  
"No. I won't let them." I replied, my voice dead of emotion.  
"I don't want to die." She sobbed, and I turned to her.

She was extremely frightened, her small frame shaking. I looked at her with pity, but hunger and self preservation were taking over. I refocused. It was unfair to take the life of this child. It was wrong for her to have to know death is coming. She had so much life to live, so much time left. I frowned. No one should know when they are going to die.

"What's your name." I asked her gently, putting my hand on her shoulder. She leaned into me, without fear. My hunger flared.  
"I'm Katie." She said, and scooted closer. She was a child. I pulled her into my arms, and sent her wave after wave of calm.  
I held her like that for an hour, like a father holds a crying child. She turned to me eventually , and looked me in the eyes.  
"God must have sent you to be my guardian angel. But why are your eyes so sad?" she asked. I pulled her up into a proper hug.  
"God didn't send me." I said sadly. She didn't know what was coming. She leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder.  
"But why are you eyes so sad?" she asked again. I sent her as much calm as I could muster up.  
"I'm so sorry Katie." My teeth clamped down onto her neck, and I sucked hard.

She was distracted when I did it, and I thought I had calmed her enough so she wouldn't be afraid. But I was wrong. She struggled, fear filling her body, as well as shock and betrayal. She struggled until the moment her heart stopped, and I dropped her body from me with a sob. My hands covered my face, and I growled a horrifying growl, projecting myself hatred to everyone around me. I was a monster. I wiped her blood from my mouth, with a shaking hand. Maria burst through the door, a happy smile on her face when she saw the blood on me, and the girl on the ground.  
"Well well well. I'm glad to see you've changed ways."  
I turned to her, conveying my rage. She flinched.  
"I'm going to rip out your fucking throat." I growled, and launched towards her. She hissed, and I managed to scratch her face before being slammed down by a newborn. The surprise that I had managed to touch her was apparent on her face. I was pinned to the ground by four newborns, as she walked over to me.

"Why can't you accept this. You are mine now. I will never let you go." She yelled. I went still.  
"Just kill me. Please." I whispered.

She laughed, and the newborns let me go. She pulled me up, and walked me to the mirror on the wall. My chest was covered in scars, so many it was revolting. My eyes were now red, with only a ring of golden around the iris to show I had been decent at all.

"I won't kill you, Major. You're were mine when I first layed eyes on you. And this fake Jasper you were before is melting away, and you can never go back." She said, with a huge grin on her face. She turned to me, and cupped my face with her hands. I closed my eyes  
"Do you think she'd still want you with those scars? Do you think she'd want a man who killed. She was always too good for you. You belong here. You belong to me."

_Alice._

I felt dead on the inside. She was right. I had just killed a child. My body was a disgusting leftover. Alice deserved better. I embraced the sting of my scars, and opened my lifeless eyes. Maria smiled.  
"There you are major. I missed you."


End file.
